when someone says they are proud of you

when someone says they are proud of you

document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); All Rights Reserved. 5. Most of the time, having pride about someone else comes from a place of superiority. Someone who credibly says "I'm proud of you" usually has two characteristics. What does it mean when a woman says she's proud of you? 10. This is when his feelings go deeper than the surface, and he genuinely cares about you as a person. As if Im mentally retarded and reading a book for the first time in my life, and hoping to get a cookie and a star sticker. Second, this very fact helps explain why we resent it if the praise comes from someone who isnt viewed as a mentor. If you want to reply saying you're proud of the person saying he's proud of you, the only correct answer out of those four is "I'm proud of you too". I think that the phrase really bothers me, because its like saying, Wow, I didnt think you were good enough to ever achieve -insert whatever here.- My fiance said it to me last night while I was doing the dishes. I do not believe that parents need to say "I'm proud of you" to show their support of, and their emotional connection to, their child. For going back to work when Im still hardly sleeping, due to having an 8 week old at home? Hearing those words can make us feel seen, understood, and appreciated.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[970,90],'howdoirespondto_com-box-4','ezslot_3',180,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-howdoirespondto_com-box-4-0'); Its important to remember that the power of words goes both ways. I am so lucky to have you in my life and your . Youre the first person who is happy with it. The way you _____ is such a perfect addition for our family. Linda Adams, in her book Be Your Best, quotes Charleszetta Waddles (African American activist): You cant give people pride, but you can provide the kind of understanding that makes people look to their inner strengths and find their own sense of pride. This canstop the development of their own, "You look really pleased with your effort". So, lets get started! You are taking joy in someone else doing good. Lovers often feel proud when they see their beloved in action. I am certain that he would be very proud of you, and he would be proud of your decision to reset your life with rehab. Partner: "You think you have a lot going on, let me tell you . While "sb is proud of him" can express positive meaning. The rest were manual labourers. I wouldnt say Im proud of you in this situation. Thats the response I was expecting from you. I guess after receiving the compliment, I felt that he was patronizing me, because I have only had my parents or teachers say they were proud of me. Here are other litmus tests I've blogged about. Im glad I found this interesting discussion, as I just had a man I am seeing state I am proud of you and it made me feel great, yet at the same time realized that it can come from a position of higher power so I needed to contemplate the relationship. If you get a new job, get a participants medal for a 10K or do anything deemed worthwhile, friends, family and acquaintances will say they are so proud of you!!!. It will show your appreciation for their words, it will help to strengthen your relationship, and it will create a positive and constructive environment. 1. Look him in the eyes and smile. Feb 10, . As parents, it's important to stay calm and resist the urge to blame our kids or anyone else, really for our emotions. Instead, I try implementing the approach from Parent Effectiveness Training (PET), a peaceful, gentle approach to parenting, that teaches respectful communication skills, and offers alternatives to using rewards (such as praise), or punishments (such as saying "Im disappointed"). Patricia Velasquez. February 18, 2023 There are people who interpret life as if it were all about a fight of egos. So we arranged to have her drive to the hotel where I was staying and we drove there together. Is the childs achievement actually a reflection of their parents achievement? But, what would be the better ways to respond to I am proud of you other than just saying thank you. We laughed a lot and re-lived some old memories. Yes, I think this is why my friend, even though older, was proud of me, I felt was being presumptious to put herself above me. 1. Ive been waiting for a long time to give you this surprise! So you better know in which tone theyre saying so. Paul urged his young companion Timothy to be "a worker who does not need to be ashamed" (2 Timothy 2:15). Instead of acting out of rage over . (I'd prefer "Congratulations! It makes a difference I think. Let them know how much better you feel now that you're smokefree. Praise such as this is a subject on its own much research and many, many books have been written on the negative aspects of praise. It means that in their eyes you have come a long way from a place you began. I was very irritated and angry. If these 10 phrases come up often, they're signs he doesn't want a relationship with you, and you should move on with someone who can be the person you deserve. Great to hear this. Thanks. . 11. And, here are the respectful replies to respond with: 1. In other words, I care so much about the other person, that their accomplishment can evoke pride in ME. "How I do love you!" And you get to benefit from them regardless of the outcome of your relationship. She is an accredited and highly experienced P.E.T. But you'd like some clarity on what he really means when he says that. 20 of the Best Encouraging Words that Hold any Caregivers Up 06 "Tim, I keep wondering what Dad would say if he were alive right now. We had a really nice time. 2. To try to sum this up, I mrried and ended up in a small, isolated village filled with people who either did not graduate high school or barely achieved that level of schooling. Keep believing in me, I will make you proud more and more. To say you're proud of someone is to say that you can relate to them and, if in their shoes, you would be proud of the accomplishment. If a parent can say, Im proud of you, then can the parent also say the opposite , Children may become dependent on their parents (and others, such as teachers or grandparents) evaluation of their achievements. There are alternatives to praise and saying "Im proud of you", and they include: I consciously have to stop myself from saying "Im proud of you". For me, this was a huge take-away moment. He may understand you have daddy issues and need a masculine pat on the back. This topic came to mind because I recently saw a friend / mentor and told him about a meaningful professional accomplishment. Updated 7th September 2016; and 19th April 2019. They can be in dictionaries but over time can have slightly different meanings depending how they are used. So thank you Ben, for after read the above I feel happy with my Im thrilled for you, You must feel really proud and the like. The Proud Boys . Yes, I'm sure you've come across "me too" in such situations, but it's very often ambiguous, or sounds arrogant. With the best of intentions, we want to let our children know of our pride in them. Lets look at some examples (followed by some suggested alternatives) adult first, then child, to help illustrate this point: Manager: "Im proud of the report youve written". Anyone who overthinks any form of compliments or think's that there are hidden agendas or people are not being completely honest about what they say, should take a step back and ask themselves why they are thinking those thoughts, personally i believe it's more about them and not what is being said about the phrase. A Summer Like No Other - Bushfires, Fear, Famly, Hope and Change, Preparing To Say Goodbye Even As I Hug Hello, When I Realised That Being A Parent To An Adult Is Different To Being A Parent Of A Child, Setting Limits Sets Limits On Children Learning to Discipline Themselves, Learning to Take The Back Seat As A Parent, As My Child Moves To Adulthood, Am I Treasuring The Moments? Anyone could tell how proud he is to be with you by the giant grin that's plastered on his face when you two are together. This is a very interesting discussion for me. (Of course, there are always people who try to suck up to youbut hopefully you can see through it!) However, the other expression Im really happy for you is so overused that it immediately rings the bell of insincerity. 1. 10. You know that I'm bound to see you. Facebook: Please join us on our Facebook page for a mix of articles on children and parenting. It's nothing bad or unusual. I dont care that I had to hear it from a video-taped personage. 8. Ive been lurching between How can you be proud of someone elses children? but then challenging that with But then as we do both have a close relationship with her we probably have had some influence on how shes turning out . PJ. 1. . 9. They can be proud; we should be happy for them, and grateful that we played any part in it. I am here for the same reason. Its all because of blessings and good wishes, I could do it. In this sense, a mentor is a parent that you choose, and the desire for his or her love and approval is as natural as the desire for that of a parents pride. Also, I really like the litmus test of how you would feel on the receiving end. Most of the time you spend together is in the bedroom. Luke 18:9-14 ESV / 5 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful When we avoid the phrase Im proud of you, we allow our children to be their own person, to grow to their own potential - in a relationship of mutual respect. Is your partner proud because they can now be associated with a high achiever? I cannot tell you how happy I am, for her, to witness her achievement and how much I admire her tenacity in overcoming all she has. ie you have brought them up as parents and are proud of them for their achievements or manners etc. So, the next time someone says Im proud of you, remember to take the time to think about how you want to respond. Gun owners are more likely than non-gun owners to know someone who has been shot (51% vs. 40% of non-owners). We all have people in our lives who make us feel special, appreciated, and respected. Oh.. very good. I wanted to know whether or not I was overreacting.He had no hand in my achievements and since he was the one who caused me those problems, I feel he has lost every right to use that phrase with me. After the game I took her back to her car, gave her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. So as you can likely see, when people say they're "proud" of someone else's accomplishments, they're really saying they are entitled to some honor or credit in the accomplishing of those accomplishments; and when people say they are "humbled" by other people recognizing them for their accomplishments, what they really mean is they . Second, he must know you well. When I tell my kids Im proud they are surprised and pleased. One man said, "I am so proud of my partner when we are at receptions together; many men are around her wishing to make love to her . They just say it. They may start to see their parent as being insincere, or even manipulative. I also have to let go of holding it against him, because I presume it was a well-meaning gaffeinstead of saying how happy he is for me, as hes never been belittling before. He may not have expected you to be qualified for the job. You are asked at the cocktail party what you do. Similarly, if someone tries to imply a mentor relationship by telling you, Im proud of you, its like a bad parent trying to claim the rights and status of a good one. Its powerful. It may be a taunt from them to do something unusual. Since first publishing this piece, I've spent many years thinking about, and discussing, why children might like to hear their parents say "I'm proud of you". Here are some tips on how to respond to Im proud of you: Following these tips will help to ensure that you are responding to Im proud of you in a meaningful way. My sons grew up together and are spaced two years apart. [Chorus] They say redemption's on your mind when you think about . You can accomplish anything that you put your mind to. What if you really are proud of the person? Totally the sort of thing that deserves a fist to the nose. Second, he must know you well. 15. I admire your ability to ___________. When someone says Im proud of you, first of all thanking them is the common response we usually have. 14. The best way to do this is to express your own feelings of appreciation and gratitude for their words. 2. 1. I was an ambitious student with a goal to attend university, which my father completely supported. stories on the Parent Skills website are posted only as opinion or ideas, and are general in nature. A significant share of Americans (44%) say they personally know someone who has been shot, either accidentally or intentionally. So happy for us! 2. I dont think my children have any problem with this because they know, in many other ways, I love them dearly. I very quickly responded with a snappy, Why? He said because you were up last night with the baby, and went to work, and youre still cleaning this late at night. Um What a shock that I am hardly sleeping, cleaning constantly, working again, taking care of two babies, doing his laundry/dishes/cooking It really rubbed me the wrong way that he was proud of me. 3. I'm so much proud of you for completing your graduation and wish you will succeed in every . ), Seven Thoughts to Help You Parent Peacefully, Hints on Maintaining a Harmonious Household. He gets a "that's nice". By the fifth repeat of the painting, the response from him mother may quite different from the first. One might consider that the mature thing to do, or the business savvy thing to do, but she has had nothing to do with them for years, because they are arrogant and condescending. So, how should we respond to Im proud of you? I would almost join FB in order to make the comment, Why are you proud and impressed? Glad that I keep our family tradition alive. I can point them out to my friends and say, Those are my sons!. 4 . When my parents tell me that they are proud of me, I generally take it to mean that they recognize something I have done on my own merit as being worthy of praise. You look so much better!". You had nothing whatsoever to do with any of this you pond-bottom suckers.. We can all have slightly different interpretations of words which if not careful can start a war! Had I ever thought about the meaning behind these words? They mean the exact opposite of what you think. How might you feel as the worker? I thought who gave you the superiority, you seem to be giving yourself for my accomplishment My friend didnt understand. Be proud that you are here. Thank you. Wondering where that may be coming from. 4. There may be times when he gets some details wrong, but no one is taking score about who gets the fine points right most of the time. It reaffirms the choice you made is good and right, nothing more. If there is a mentor relationship, fine, but when the relationship is supposed to be about equals, Here are some examples of what you shouldn't say to someone on their sober anniversary. Congratulations to our dearest son. Thanks. Image used under license from Shutterstock, Larissa Dann. A person receiving this praise could also feel belittled it could feel as though their achievement was unexpected - a surprise to the other person. Consequently I now cringe every time I hear the term being used out of context . A compliment like this means a lot to us, seeing that we give our people a chance to be happy and proud because of us. First, there's physical attraction. But I want to let you know that I accept you whether I agree with you or not, and I'm committed to working on our relationship so we both feel . 3. If a homeless guy on the street (lower status) or Bill Gates (don't know him personally) tell me they're proud of me it won't have a huge positive effect. What do they perceive - when a parent (or teacher) says "Im proud of you"? Usually friends say "I'm so happy for you" or "Really nice job!" . I felt great to know he as proud of me, especially after he had read my term report cards in high school. Fascinating post in two regards. How come you didnt come to watch this match? the person who says that is actually talking about themselves, not about me, and by saying that is drawing the recognition away from me towards themselves. And black adults (57%) are more likely than whites (43%) or Hispanics (42%) to know someone who falls into . When someone says Im proud of you, they are expressing their admiration, respect, and gratitude for something you have done. I now understand that its because I dont feel superiority over anyone, and Im perfectly happy with that . It makes us feel seen, understood, and appreciated. facilitator, with over 1000 parents completing the course with her. If Your Partner Ever Says These 20 Things, You Should Break Up. And John is left feeling confused and despondent. When someone insults you, the first thing you want to do is take a pause and a deep breath. Thanks for all the interresting comments and opinions on how people use the phrase Im proud of you. How Do I Tell Him I Like Him The Best Method (Proven), What Does It Mean When She Calls You Daddy, Im so glad that youre proud of me. If that's the case, I suggest a change of phrase. Knowing someone is proud of you, is indeed one of the most rewarding feelings in the world. But worse, my friend thanked them. I think you deserve the credit for this all. To me, if someone I respect said they were proud of me, would mean much more and have a much better and more positive effect on me than if they said Im really happy for you because the feeling of someone being proud for me includes me, my efforts and achievements, and unites me with that person who said it at the moment of saying it. This is 20 years ago, and I still remember this moment. Looking for some extra money from your parents? 16. 2014, 2016, 2019. Why is this such a contentious phrase? 9. Try these new and funny excuses to ask for money from your parents or your family. "Be proud of your scars. implying a mentor relationship. Your email address will not be published. Sure, they get angry with one another, as do all brothers, but they forgive and move on. I had a lot of this type of treatment in that small community. My boys are all each others fan club and its marvelous. It makes sense for a mentor or parent to say this, or a friend or other who served in some coaching role. Yea, Thank you is not the only response. On Wednesday, a Proud Boy leader, Joseph . Like Im only worth anything just because Im making money? The phrase, in my belief, implies my contribution as a parent. 2. In what context. Dont just thank them, you can reply with some cute responses to let them know that youre proud the same as they are. "), Parent: "Im proud that you got all As in your school report/won that tennis trophy", How might you feel as the child? B Blue Apple Senior Member 7. And as it was your friends achievement, oughtnt she be the one who feels proud? 5. Let them know you think it's great they're considering quitting and that you're ready to help. The Obama campaign needs to walk this one back and pronto. ". Do you really think this had a lot of positive impact on many children? But only emotionally intelligent people understand why. I was excited to see your reaction. I have never said to my children, I am proud of you. My reason is that thry are responsile for their successes and I shoudnt take any credit for it. 17. All Rights Reserved. I have deep concerns if children crave to hear "I'm proud of you" because they want to know that their parents approve of them - of their behaviour, of their decisions in life. I am livid because a couple of arrogant, condescending people who had been known briefly, posted, We are so proud and impressed, on a stinking FB page, I do not use FB, etc. 2. Tell me something else, Ive heard this at home. Otherwise I feel like Im horning in on someone elses territory their right to be proud of their own accomplishments. "I know you have a lot going on . So - does this research negate my concerns regarding the phrase "I'm proud of you"? We learn from every step we take. The first time I remember hearing it said to me (though I'm sure there were times before the instance I'm describing . 03:48. You could feel annoyed and put out. I got into a conflice with her sons girlfriend because this young woman was working in a store behind the til and had made a gross error in punching out my cash register amounts on my bill and I had to go and confront her to get a refund as the store owed me about $50 due to her errors. 3. To be proud of yourself for your success is one thing, for another is to be proud, they had better have seen you come up through the trenches to witness that moment or to have been involved in the process. And, you are the best thing ever to happen to me. 5. Youre the most amazing parents and thank you for believing in me. She only ever said it once but it has stuck with me forever: Didnt your manager think you were capable of putting such a report together? I can make it possible only because you give me hope. Setting goals you can achieve, also called "realist goals," reduces the chance of frustration or doubting yourself or your abilities. She texted back that I make her smile and that shes proud of me. Someone has just gone out of their way to say something nice to you. Listen to your inner wisdom, and make a note of the meaning that resonates with you. Of course, the child may feel really pleased to hear this positive evaluation of their efforts. I feel virtually murderous towards them. I agree that its a phrase that is really reserved for the individual doing, or accomplishing something, i.e. Someone who credibly says "I'm proud of you" usually has two characteristics. Encouraging children and others to be proud of themselves is healthier. JavaScript is disabled. People Who Say These 5 Words Have Very Low Emotional Intelligence. Exactly the information I was looking for thank you! Oh, youre one of my trusted supporters! I knew it, if no one was going to like this. Now, John may hear "I'm disappointed that this is the same picture. The only people there who went to university were the pharmacist, the physician/surgeon, lab technologist, x-ray technician and the like, as well as the school teachers. Overall, its reserved for people who you trust and respect. I'll help with whatever you need to make it . I think I instinctively recognized that the balance of power had somehow been upset, but couldnt put my finger on it. I still think she was doing this at the time. With teens and adults, saying "I'm proud of you" is a bit different. By accepting the compliment and reflecting on your qualities, you may feel more satisfied in life. Self-doubt can make it hard to accept compliments and to express gratitude for the words of others. Suddenly I found myself questioning my rather lame Im thrilled for you. Thanks. Talents Compliments. Although its worth taking a mental note of that in case a pattern does develop. They may continually search for praise from their bosses, their co-workers, their partners. Just think of The Sixth Sense, where the son tells his mother that his dead grandmother wanted her daughter to know that the answer to her unspoken question was Every day., His mother begins to cry, and he asks her, What did you ask grandma, and she replies through her tears, Are you proud of me?. A special note on research suggesting that parents saying "I'm proud of you" prevents future mental illness and suicidal ideation in their children.

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